Poetry!

Here is the poem that I picked:

"Making a Fist" by Naomi Shihab Nye

For the first time, on the road north of Tampico,
I felt the life sliding out of me,
a drum in the desert, harder and harder to hear.
I was seven, I lay in the car
watching palm trees swirl a sickening pattern past the glass.
My stomach was a melon split wide inside my skin.

"How do you know if you are going to die?"
I begged my mother.
We had been traveling for days.
With strange confidence she answered,
"When you can no longer make a fist."

Years later I smile to think of that journey,
the borders we must cross separately,
stamped with our unanswerable woes.
I who did not die, who am still living,
still lying in the backseat behind all my questions,
clenching and opening one small hand.

Naomi Shihab Nye uses a central metaphor in the Poem "Making a Fist" to compare life's journey to the little things. Although many big events occur in our lives, we often fail to see the little things that actually help. In this poem she explains that she feels as if she were dying. She said, "I felt the life sliding out of me," (2). She was clearly suffering and had the inner sense that her life might be coming to an end. When she uses the phrase "a drum in the desert, harder and harder to hear." (3), you can immediately hear a parade's loud drumming fading away as it passes farther down the street. These two lines express how she felt at that time. At the end of the poem, she has a verse filled with big things that happen in one's life. She said, "the borders we must cross separately,/ stamped with our unanswerable woes." (12-13). These are things that people accomplish over time, through a journey. Lastly, she brings up the idea of how much those small things really do help. She said, "still lying in the backseat behind all my questions,/ clenching and opening one small hand." (16-17). This was what would prevent her from dying, just assuring herself that she could still tighten her hand into a fist. This action is incomparable to death, or "unanswerable woes" (14). Through that comparison, Naomi Shihab Nye shows that by simply making a seemingly insignificant gesture, it can affect the end result in many ways.

Quarter One Debrief

I think that I did well in EE10 for first quarter. I tried to get all of my homework in on time, and I finished writing drafts and outlines for the right dates. I learned how to write analytical papers much more efficiently, although I still need some work. I learned how to analyze images and films, along with all of those spiffy terms. I learned how to write a real thesis statement and not just a list. I improved a lot on my writing in general and how I organize my thoughts. I still need to work on my writing and thesis statements. I'm still feeling a little iffy on that, but hopefully with this big research paper I will become more comfortable with the organizational things I need help with. The class environment is good!! My goals for Q2 are to concentrate on improving my writing skills, and learn to write even better thesis statements. I want to really work on getting the analytical stuff down. Can't wait for second quarter! :) 10/4

Blog #5!!

In The Probable Future written by Alice Hoffman, many significant moments in the characters' lives move them into adulthood. Even if they aren't a child or a teenager, it doesn't mean that they can't be transformed into their mature, adult-self. Will Avery is a perfect example. Unlike his brother, Matt Avery, who grew up long before he was legally an adult, Will has been immature his entire life. Matt was responsible and reasonable, while Will was a compulsive liar and unfaithful to everyone around him. Until Stella confesses her power to see how people will die, Will is still lying and sleeping around. Once he gets arrested for Stella's death prediction being reported to the police, he becomes severely depressed. He runs out of money, can't pay the bills or buy food, and drinks constantly. However, as his daughter's life becomes endangered, he immediately realizes what a fool he has been and how much his choices have affected those around him. For the first time in his life, he admits his mistake and the author describes, "the enormity of his failures crashing down on him... He could see his reflection in the glass panels on the side of the door to Cake House: he appeared to be underwater, a drowning man with nothing to hold on to but a single shred of truth. 'I made a mistake'" (199). Did this chronic liar actually just admit that he had done something wrong? He did. And it marked a complete turn around for Will. He changes his ways, he becomes happy again, he lives a life of honesty, after a lifetime of lies and mistrust. He has finally started living responsibly and maturely, something he should have done years ago. Also unlike Will, Jenny learned to live on her own as an adult in her childhood and teenage years. Her mother, Elinor, didn't have the mothering skills that most daughters needed, but Jenny found her way just fine. The author tells us, "Elinor should have built her world around Jenny when Saul died in that accident on a road outside Boston, but instead she walked into the garden and she had never come out again" (68). Even at such a young age, Jenny was forced to learn on her own, and live her own way because her mother was too caught up in her own grief to take care of her only daughter. When Jenny was sick, she was the one that called the doctor and asked him to make a house call, a traditional motherly task to accomplish. We are told by the author, "She was only in sixth grade, but she had already learned to take care of herself...Why, the girl was quite feverish, and she didn't have a glass of water on her night table or a cold cloth for her forehead" (69). Another mother-taking-care-of-sick-child task. Jenny learned quickly how to manage. Maybe her lack of a mother was the cause for her rebelling later in life? Feeling neglected by one's parents can definitely lead to rebellion and going off on one's own path. The only difference between people at this moment in their lives is when. When do they become adults? When do they learn how to live on their own? When do they learn to be responsible human beings and make good choices? Although the time may be different for each person, hopefully everyone will grow up and move away from the Neverland of carelessness and disrespect.

Blog-o Numero Four-o.

In the novel, The Probable Future by Alice Hoffman, one of the protagonists, Stella Sparrow, is intrigued by her family's past. Her mother, Jenny tries to "protect" her from all the history. When Stella moves in with her grandma in Unity, she says "Tell me about Rebecca Sparrow" (96). Her grandma replies "I can't tell you because your mother told me not to" (96). But, moments later, her grandma gives in to Stella's wishes, and she says, "She could not feel pain, and don't you dare let on to your mother that I told you" (97). She felt so wise and was encouraged to make a difference. At one point, she steals her uncle's thesis paper about Rebecca Sparrow. She reads the entire thing and afterwards she promises "if she reached Liza Hull's safely, she would make a sacrifice in Rebecca's name" (251). Already her ancestors have motivated and pushed her to make a difference. When she was alone that night, she made her sacrifice. She dyed her long blond hair black; losing her "best feature" according to her girlfriend (253). She then "cut it short, above the ears, exactly as they had chopped off Rebecca's hair on the morning of her drowning" (258). Stella has a very strong relationship and connection to Rebecca even though they are generations apart. By cutting off her hair, she shows that she wants people to remember Rebecca and what was done to her. She expresses that she is willing to show it and make a difference, starting with herself. That is not the sole change Stella brings upon Unity, however. As she greatly resembles Rebecca, many people mistaken her when they see her, and then suddenly realize it is Stella, especially Eli Hathaway. Lying on his deathbed, with Stella's hand in his, and Dr. Stewart along side them, Eli reveals to the "modern Rebecca" his will. His ancestors are the ones who allowed Rebecca to be drowned centuries ago. He wants to give his belongings to the town, but for Stella, a necklace that was once worn by Rebecca. Stella also chosen as the one who would decide what was to become of Eli's belongings. When Eli was about to pass away, Stella leans in and whispers, "It was all right, he could let go. He was forgiven. After all the time, he was free", (283). She was able to let this man die without this huge burden because she was motivated and driven by Rebecca's life. When she does eventually decides what to do with Eli's money and belongings, she chooses to create a tribute to Rebecca; a statute erected in the center of town, with a "bronze bell, which when rung could be heard for miles around. There would never be silence again, at least not in this town" (286). If Stella had not been so curious about her family's history, specifically Rebecca's, there would never be this tribute she deserved.

Outside reading! Cha cha cha. (#3)

Throughout the novel, The Probable Future by Alice Hoffman, the reader gets a clear perspective on mother-daughter conflict. It directs all the Sparrow womens' relationships with one another. Every reply has a hint of sarcasm, and every comment is twisted into an insult. Even Jenny proclaims, "You take everything I say and turn it around" (186). Later in the argument, Stella bites back with, "Everything was perfect until you got here, everything was absolutely fine" (187). Talk about sassy. After this spat between mother and daughter, grandmother Elinor comforts her daughter, Jenny. She evens makes her laugh a little. These small gestures are what help the three women survive together under the same roof. However, several pages later Elinor says, "Do you realize you never agree with me? If I said it was noon, you wouldn't care if the sun was in the center of the sky. You'd tell me it was nighttime. You'd want to argue no matter what" (195). How can these ladies even bear to argue and bicker over every detail? Do they have some idea in their heads that none of them could ever begin to understand the struggle of another? That mothers can never understand their daughters, and daughters their mothers? Yes...maybe that is the problem. On Stella's birthday, she declares to a close friend, "I hate my mother...She watches over me like I'm some sort of wilting flower" (37). Many daughters today fell as if their mothers hate them, even though they do not. They strive, as do the Sparrow women, for independence. Rebellion. Love. Risk. They have a thirst for it. A chronic hunger. Although they do desire all of these things, mothers will always be waiting. Always willing to forgive. As in Jenny and Elinor's case. Jenny awoke in the middle of the night and walks into her mother's bedroom like a child who had just experienced a nightmare. As she crawls into the bed, the author describes, "There was a woman beside her with black hair who appeared to be her daughter. Could that be real? Wasn't that an impossible thing, no more likely than a dish that could grow legs and run away over the moon or a roomful of straw spun into gold?" (244). Elinor already believed the impossible could never happen and just then, in that very moment, she had been proven wrong. Even though it was unspoken, both of them knew, "After all this time, they forgave each other on this morning in May when the world was green, when bees circled the laurel, when words didn't need to be spoken, when anything that had been lost could still be found" (244). What more could be given that is more valuable than forgiveness and knowing that the impossible can be achieved?

Pho-to-graph-y.

Outside Reading Blog...Post Numbah Two.

In my novel, The Probable Future written by Alice Hoffman, the characters experience a lot of struggle and conflict. Will Avery especially goes through tons in his life. His personality is really self-absorbed and he tends to think only of himself. This trait leads him directly into trouble. Even Will's brother, Matt, declares, "He was so unused to giving of himself, so unable to place another's needs before his own" (104). When his own mother is dying, he can't even bring himself to visit her. He used "flimsy excuses" just to get out of the so-called obligation (104). Another perfect example is the number of news reporters that track Will down. He was put in jail for murdering a young woman. In truth, his daughter Stella saw how the woman was going to die (as it is her power, being able to see how someone will die) and made her father promise to tell the police. In doing so, this made him the perfect suspect. Once people found out, news reporters surrounded him day in and day out, wanting the scoop. When Will is all alone and down in the dumps, a Boston Herald reporter comes to the door and asks for an interview. The author says, "If he hadn't been such a greedy fool, his radar might have been out about this Ted Scott individual. It took one to know one, isn't that what people said? Well, not this time. This time he'd been blinded by a few dollars" (183). Will felt horrible about his naivety. He overlooked everyone's feelings but his own. He learns then and there that he had made many, many mistakes in his lifetime. When he decides he needs to make a trip to visit Stella, against court orders, he tells his ex-wife, "Baby, I made a mistake" (199). And to his surprise Jenny replies, "I understand completely" (199). At last he admits he had done something wrong, and he finally understands that he can be forgiven. It didn't have to be all about him. Will realizes how many stupid mistakes and decisions he has made, and how easy it was for him to make them. However, he has also learned that it is much harder to admit to those mistakes and ask for forgiveness. But when he finally does, it pays off. With interest.

Outside Reading Post. Numero Un.

The main characters in my novel, The Probable Future written by Alice Hoffman, are quite varied from each other. They all strive for different things: better family relationships, a way to change things already said and done, or even save a loved one from a fate they did not deserve. The protagonists are mostly women, all from a different generation of the same family. Granddaughter, mother, and grandmother. Stella, from the youngest generation, has just turned thirteen and has discovered that she has the unfortunate ability to see how a person will die. Jenny, the mother and daughter, is recently divorced and has a dwindling relationship with her daughter, and her relationship with her mother isn't great either. She also has an interesting power, she can see peoples' dreams as they are dreaming them. Elinor, the grandmother and mother, is aging and still living in the same house as the rest of the Sparrow women had for years. She has the undeniable ability to smell a lie the moment it is spoken. She wants to bring Stella closer to her, and make her alienate her mother. The main guy role is taken by Stella's father, Will Avery. He has an incredible amount of care and support for his daughter. He tends to lie quite often, and he is the kind of person who always seems to let you down. Despite his seemingly imperfect personality, he always tries his hardest to come through for Stella when she needs him most.
Back to the youngest of the characters, Stella has the strong urge to rebel against her mother's strict wishes. As Stella pulled the braids out of her hair, she thinks, "Anyway, braids were worn by the kind of girl her mother wished her to be, the sort who wore pink sweaters and was voted class president, who excelled in after-school activities, from the drama club to the Mathletes. Clearly, that was not the sort of girl Stella happened to be" (Hoffman 33). She wants to break away from her mother, and she wants to be independent. She feels as if her mom would never be able to understand her, and according the rules and ways she treats Stella, she obviously doesn't. As for Will, the "careless and self-centered" dad that he admitts he is, is somehow much more important in Stella's life, and she looks up to him much more than she does her mother (Hoffman 40). When Stella tells him that they are going to dinner without her mom, he accepts willingly, "Will was certainly agreeable to a maneuver such as this. It was of course of action he understood quite well...he'd done the exact same thing" (Hoffman 41). Throughout the beginning of my novel, we see that all of the characters strive for different things. Will clearly strives to improve his way of life, filled with lies and disappointment. Stella wants to break free and make her own decisions on her own accord, even though that is quite far-fetched for a thirteen-year-old with the power to see how people die. Instead of "Nothing Jenny did seemed right," Jenny wanted to do things right (Hoffman 26). She wanted to be friends with Stella, and she wanted them to accept each other and let go of their differences. Although they have many differences, and they struggle to survive with each other, they continue to go on with their lives, and take each day one at a time.

Vent away, dear memoir.

Memoirs can be found everywhere. You walk into Barnes & Noble, and there is always a new memoir out about some politician or famous author. But the celebrities and well-known are not the only ones who write memoirs. Normal people do too. People with regular, average lifestyles. Like Richard Wright, he had quite a lot to write about. His childhood was a struggle, and he dreamed of bigger and better things, which often times dragged him down even further. However, he still wrote that memoir of his life. Why? You ask. Well, I think that it is because people live their lives to connect with others. They want more ways to communicate. They want to relate with each other! Think if no one could relate to anyone else. You would never be able to ask for advice, never be able to understand, never be able to learn. Your life would be pretty much pointless. Despite all of this pessimism however, people do connect, relate and learn from each other. Memoirs are sometimes written to entertain a crowd, or tell about a life-changing story. However, they are also written to connect with everyone. Anyone can pick up a memoir about someone they don't even know, or have never heard of, and feel an instant connection with them because they have felt what the author has felt, and they can relate. That feeling that you're not alone, and someone else understands what you're feeling and thinking is an awesome feeling. And memoirs help people attain that sometimes unreachable feat. Telling our own stories helps us reach this "goal". It's almost like venting, where you can just tell someone all of your worries and thoughts and in return, you feel as if a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. There is so much power in writing memoirs, because for some people, it sincerely helps release all of that pressure that has built up for days, months, and years. This on-going connecting and relating is something that is definitely helped by the writing of memoirs, not only for the author, but for every person that reads it too.

Hunger for Life

Throughout the entire story so far, we continuously see Richard's physical hunger. He is practically starving for most of the book. There are several intervals of time when he is not hungry, but that quickly disappears. Physical hunger for food however, is clearly not the only hunger that Richard experiences. In the beginning, he doesn't fully realize the black and white tension and also how much much he wants to know. Later though, he finds out that there is much tension, and no one cares to answer his relentless questions. I think that they don't comprehend the fact that Richard simply wants to understand and have reasons for everything. Like proof for reality. He hungers for that knowledge. He wants to know more, and learn everything he can. This is why he wants to get jobs and save money. He needs to buy books and school clothes, etc. to fill his want for a higher education. In addition to this, he has a strong passion for writing. It occupies his time. He loves reading and writing anything he can. He told someone that he wants to be a writer, and the woman replies, "'A what?' 'A writer,' 'For what?' 'To write stories,' "You'll never be a writer'" (147). This woman assumes that he could never be a writer, and that he must be insane for thinking such a thing. However he continues to write and pursue his dream. Another example of this is when the principal wants him to present a speech at the graduation, and Richard refuses to present the suggested speech, because he wants to read his own. When asked for an opinon, his uncle says, "'The principal's speech is the better speech'" (177). He wants to take control of his own life, not let it be controlled by someone who doesn't even understand his passions, and his wants and needs. Richard hungers for many things and is also very passionate. What he really hungers for though, is his own life. Freedom from the difficult and unreasonable reality in which he struggles through for his entire childhood.

Is Richard a "bad boy"?

As we begin to read about Richard's childhood, we see that he does have rebel-like qualities. Even on the first few pages he burns down his house, starting with the curtains, because he wants to see what they would look like on fire. Although he is young, you would think that he would know not to light very flammable curtains on fire. Secondly, one day when Richard's father is attempting to sleep, a meowing kitten keeps him awake. He runs outside and tells Richard and his younger brother (who noticed the kitten also) to get rid of, even kill it if he had to. Richard takes this literally even though he knows better, and kills the helpless kitten. Thirdly, when Richard's mother makes dinner for a preacher and a few neighbors, he is irritated that the preacher is eating all of the chicken while he is stuck with soup. After a while of chicken disappearing before his eyes, he stands up at the table and exclaims that the preacher is going to eat all of the chicken. He just couldn't contain himself! All of these examples later lead to Richard getting beaten by his parents for bad decision making. Later on when he and his family move to the city, his mother gives him a stick to defend himself with on the way to get groceries. He ends up beating an entire gang of boys up, and scares them off. When the boys' parents come out, he yells back at them! In this example however, his mother told him to do it so he did not get punished. As one can conclude from these examples, you would think that Richard is a bad boy. He does many things from his emotions and doesn't think them through. Often times he doesn't even realize that his actions have an effect on others too.
Although one can assume that Richard is a bad boy, much of this is based purely on his environment. The only reason he killed the little kitten was because he wanted to follow through fully with what his father had asked him, just to show that he did listen and wasn't ignorant. He beats up the gang members in the street because his mother forced him to. He was told that if he didn't come home with groceries, he would have to spend the night in the streets. If I were as Richard, I would feel very intimidated and scared! Imagine being threatened by your own mother to defend yourself against an entire gang of older boys. It is clear that Richard's actions are coming out of the rough environment that he lives in. In some cases, he most likely could have had a little more self-control. This doesn't change the fact that he was in a very difficult time of his life, when hunger and fear were always reigning.

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